How I Help
What Our Work Together Looks Like
You can expect the work we do to be helpful and beneficial. That’s both because I’m good at my job and because of the genuine, strong relationship my clients and I build with each other. We’re in this together.
Here’s some of what you can expect in our work together:
- So, I’m apparently not your stereotypical therapist. I can’t believe how many clients have told me how much they appreciate that I actually talk to and engage with them throughout our sessions. So many women have shared that they’ve had previous therapists who’ve mostly just let them go at it on their own, without offering much useful feedback. You’ll have none of that here. My sessions are engaging and dynamic, and my approach is deeply relational. My clients appreciate that (imagine that!), and that approach is at the heart of why so many of the women I work with end up working with me long-term, throughout different seasons of their life.
- The only way out is through. Women come to me often in the midst of the most difficult chapter of their life. The work I do is not concrete or skills-based; it’s not a simple instructional model of coping strategies. Alas, the truth is: there is no way to bypass the pain of these wounds. You are, in fact, supposed to feel shitty right now. There are no magic therapy tricks of input: Do ABC and output: Get 123. Feelings are, in fact, meant to be felt. They’re also meant to be expressed and tended to. And that’s exactly what we’ll do: we’ll cultivate building a relationship with these feelings so that you can feel, express, and tend to all of them without being flooded by them. The only way out may be through, but we can explore, experiment, and discern supportive and adaptive ways for you to get through this.
- Radical (f*cking) acceptance. My work is deeply informed by the wisdom of so many women, among them, Pema Chodron. In her words from “When Things Fall Apart,” she says, “This very moment is the perfect teacher and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.” You probably don’t feel so lucky right now. That’s okay, you don’t need to. No toxic positivity here. Your messiness, your misery, your fear, your numbess, your overwhelm, your tears, and your sadness are all welcome here. That’s the starting point. Those deeply uncomfortable emotions are the trailhead from which we embark on this journey. They’re here to help get your attention to what needs tending; they’re here to help support you (though I know it often feels like the opposite). They’re here to help point you in a direction. We’ll pay attention to them, be open to them, and relate to them with some radical (f*cking) acceptance, because they’re here to help you be fully human.
- Giving as much kindness to yourself as you do to others (!). I work with women who are endlessly kind, caring, and compassionate. They’re able to offer others generosity of spirit and the benefit of the doubt. But when it comes to their relationship to themselves, they’re often harsh, critical, and demanding. They’d never say to others the things they think about themselves. But the truth is, those stubbornly high expectations of self have served them well in so many ways in their life. It’s helped them excel in school and advance in their careers. Everything would fall apart if they were as gentle to themselves as they are with others, right?! The women I work with aren’t looking to lower their standards in trade off for getting through this season of life. Enter: radical and fierce self-compassion. In this work, we prioritize your ability to care about the things you care about while ALSO cultivating a relationship with yourself, even in – especially in — hard times, that is based on genuine kindness and deep respect.
- Know who you are and what you stand for. The shittiest of times have a way, if we pay enough attention, of shining a light on what actually matters. That’s NOT to say that any of this is worth it; I can’t think of a single client who’d say she’s glad for what’s happened to her that brings her to this work, or that she would have chosen it for the trade-off of greater perspective. And, what’s also true is: here we are; it has happened. And in our work together, approaching these personal horrors with curiosity and kindness, one of the most potent outcomes – one I’ll always be inspired by – is women being able to say that they know themselves better. My clients tell me that because of our work together, they know who they are, they know what they truly stand for, and they have greater capacity to orient their life by that knowledge. It’s a deep and powerful hard-earned wisdom.
- Making Meaning. We, as humans, are a storytelling people. As a species, we’ve relied upon storytelling – going all the way back to cave drawings and oral traditions – as a central way of honoring our longing to make sense of ourselves, our lives, and the world around us. And by making sense, we make meaning. We are, in the view of psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, a meaning-making people. (You’ll find, in our work together, that most of my references are to wise, witchy women; but, sometimes, a dude or two will sneak through. Frankl is for sure one of them.) For me, I’m a former English major with a focus on Women’s Lit. That study of women and of women’s lives then is intimately connected to the work I do now. In this work together, exploring your story, we cultivate clarity and insight, we make connections, and we radically expand and deepen our understanding of ourselves and of our lives; and, in doing so, we cultivate meaning. Women’s stories are potent.
What You Can Expect
Admittedly, there’s a whole lot that therapy can’t do. It can’t protect you from pain; it can’t change what has happened; it can’t prevent terrible things from happening again. And, yet, there’s still so much reason for hope. When you work with a therapist who’s a really good fit for you, so much good can come from it. When you show up to therapy knowing it’s an investment in yourself, and you’re ready to dig in and do the work, your experience of your life can change for the better.
But you don’t have to take it from me. Here’s what my clients themselves have said:
Many of my clients tell me that, because of our work together, they are better able to respond to moments of pain because of the strategies and skills they’ve developed over the course of our work together.
They tell me they’re better able to support themselves like they do other people – with compassion, kindness, and respect.
They tell me they’re better able to cope with uncertainty.
They tell me they feel more grounded and more hopeful.
They tell me they know themselves better, and that they have greater clarity about what matters to them.
They say their life feels more rewarding, meaningful, and fulfilling because of their investment in this work.
Reach Out and Get Started!
The first step is just a click away.
To get started, just click below to send me a message. I’ll get back to you within one business day and, from there, we can get any of your questions answered, make sure we’re a good fit to work together, and move forward with scheduling your first appointment.
I truly look forward to hearing from you!